Next Meeting: 5:00 pm Bridge to Recovery Group -
During my recovery, I’ve periodically lapsed into sponsoring myself. If I were the only addict who had ever done this, it would be humiliating, but not worthy of writing an article for The NA Way. However, it seems this resistance to allowing others to help us is common among addicts. So, if you answer “yes” to any of the following questions, then maybe you, too, have some experience with self-sponsorship:
1. When you were new, did you resist getting a sponsor, because you didn’t want anyone telling you what to do?
2. Was your first sponsor a “temporary” sponsor, because you feared making long-term commitments?
3. Have you asked someone to sponsor you, and then not called for days, weeks, or months because you didn’t know what to say?
4. Do you not call your sponsor because he or she appears to be busy or tired?
5. Have you changed sponsors three or more times because you didn’t like their feedback?
6. Do you avoid calling because you don’t want to hear what your sponsor will say?
7. Do you ever feel grateful that you got your sponsor’s answering machine?
8. Have you lied to your sponsor?
9. Have you taken service positions without talking to your sponsor first, and then felt overwhelmed by the demands of the positions? Did you ever quit a service position without talking to your sponsor first?
10. Have you ever really needed to talk to your sponsor, but when you called,
September 18, 2014
|"One of the most profound changes in our lives is in the realm of personal relationships."
|Basic Text, p.57
|Recovery gives many of us relationships that are closer and more intimate than any we've had before. As time passes, we find ourselves gravitating toward those who eventually become our friends, our sponsor, and our partners in life. Shared laughter, tears, and struggles bring shared respect and lasting empathy.
What, then, do we do when we find that we don't agree with our friends on everything? We may discover that we don't share the same taste in music as our dearest friend, or that we don't agree with our spouse about how the furniture should be arranged, or even find ourselves voting differently than our sponsor at a service committee meeting. Does conflict mean that the friendship, the marriage, or the sponsorship is over? No!
These types of conflict are not only to be expected in any long-lasting relationship but are actually an indication that both people are emotionally healthy and honest individuals. In any relationship where both people agree on absolutely everything, chances are that only one person is doing the thinking. If we sacrifice our honesty and integrity to avoid conflicts or disagreements, we give away the best of what we bring to our relationships. We experience the full measure of partnership with another human being when we are fully honest.
|Just for Today: I will welcome the differences that make each one of us special. Today, I will work on being myself.
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